I no longer know what wisdom truly is—whether it is found in remaining calm or in panicking at the drop of a hat. I have watched those who panic get away with everything in life. Yet, as far as my own journey goes, I have only ever found my balance when I stayed quiet and calm in the trickiest of situations.
If there were just one thing I could leave with my family—one real pearl of survival, without calling it wisdom—it would be this simple directive:
BREATHE.
Even when our physical systems or circumstances exist in open rebellion, the narrative remains ours to author, one deliberate, grace-filled breath at a time.
The world around you will carry on, no matter how difficult it becomes for you to simply survive. When you have lost an entire limb, people will still come to you with stories of how their pinky finger hurts. Remember that that is okay—try to help them ease their pain, but always remember to check in on yourselves, too.
Breathe, because as cliché as it may sound, today is truly all we have. This moment, this hour, this very day. And if you are lucky, you will make it to the next week. Life has come full circle for me: I have learned to live by the week. Learned, mind you— NOT mastered.
So breathe if you cannot master something, even when you try with all your heart. Trying is the one thing within your control. Breathe, and try again. Fail again, but keep moving. Human resilience is an unmatched force, and you have no idea what you are truly capable of surviving. If you ever doubt it, just look at the world around you—there is no greater anti-depressant than seeing the less fortunate survive with a genuine smile.
Yet, that does not mean you must stop acknowledging your own pain. There should be no guilt in crying when you are completely overwhelmed. Just remember to be capable of wiping your own tears if no one turns up to wipe them for you. And once you are done—breathe again, and get going.
There will be moments when you feel an acute lack of love around you, when it feels as though the entire world has turned against you. In those quiet, heavy moments, remember that I love you, and I always will—wherever I may be. Let me assure you that my love will be that last sturdy straw floating in the ocean for you to hold on to. Keep your head above the water, and breathe.
Learn to identify the rooms where you are no longer needed, and walk out of them with grace. You do not need the entire world to love you or hold you in its palm; you need only one heart that beats for you, fiercely and completely.
A day might also come when you are wildly happy about something, yet find yourself with no one to share it with. Mark my words: this pinch stings far deeper than mere solitude. But when that happens: Realise that the most important person who needed to experience this victory was always you. Your own witness is valid, complete, and enough. Unshared joy does not fade into air; it sinks gently back into you until the right person arrives to share it with you .And from everything I have known of life, the right person always comes along.
Always keep something in your life to look forward to—whether it is a milestone goal, an upcoming holiday, a simple coffee with a friend, or just an uninterrupted hour to yourself. Do not give up on the wide-eyed wonder you were born with. When life throws major hurdles in your path, the most plausible way forward is to seek out the smallest things that bring back joy. So breathe, and zoom out. Look at the larger picture and find one small thing you look forward to doing tomorrow. Tomorrow turns into the day after, and those days thread seamlessly into weeks, months, and years.
You will receive a vast ocean of advice from all kinds of people throughout your life. Be careful whose counsel you keep. Broadly speaking, take advice from those who are genuinely happy with their own lives. And if anyone ever tries to tell you that you cannot do something, run away from them as fast as your feet will carry you.
My dear family – I am praying that, years from now, we will be reading these words side by side—me a little wiser, and you, too.
My darling daughter – I manifest watching you score so many more goals, as I stand on the sidelines and watch you bloom into a deeply happy, confident, and grounded young woman.
To my husband – I cling onto the hope that when I am old, time will grant us three the grace to return to those quiet benches in Bundang. I hope we can pick up our coffees from 7-Eleven once again, sitting side by side in easy stillness, content in doing absolutely nothing at all.
To my brother: I hope we see the olive farms together- this time without getting lost like we did before. And whatever comes your way, I hope I am always right there to comfort you through every minor inconvenience or every major hassle— like your cold .
To my team – May we again find many more moments to share laughter after snatching a life back from the edge—underneath the steady, beeping sky of the ICU. You are the fabric of my soul
To know that you all need me is both my greatest joy and my deepest fear—a reminder of how fiercely I love you and how much I want to protect that love.
But if life leads us down a path where we cannot do all of this — I hope that I will have built within you — an unshakeable sense of self-compassion, a soft place to land within your own soul. I hope you will always measure the largeness of life not by the things we managed to accumulate, but by the weight and warmth of the joyful moments we shared.
To all those who I have ever loved – May happiness become your middle name.
Amen
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